Insecure; 1 of 3

Sometimes I really do hate myself for not being stable enough, for needing more assurance and for getting anxious .my first thought is where was I when my friends had the courage, confidence and self esteem class? Cause clearly I’m fighting off my self destructive spirits

One minute you are your strongest pillar next minute you are holding tears from flowing, if anyone had to ask you if you’re okay , you would break off in a loud cry.where does all my strength vanish to ? leaving a dark cloud who’s strength is drawn from my weakened soul

Why should the right words rid the sadness of my heart ? why should the repetition of sequenced words bring comfort and assurance to me? The simple but monumental expressions go unmatched in allowing me to siesta and still rest peacefully at night

See the anxious spells I cast over my own head. The rigors and supposed butterflies in my tummy. Let’s not even talk about the deep breaths taken.

With no comparison I wish to be steady. Not make assumptions or break instead be sturdy.To walk confidently with  my chest brought outward and my eyes only centered on where  I’m going.

I wish to be that Girl ; the I gat it together girl, the I’m so strong, external words are only but a bonus to what I already know girl, the I have this cause I deserve it type of girl. The I’m beautiful or nothing type of girl, the confident girl.

I no longer want to be the girl who accepts anything because I’m too faulty to request more. I want to be one who believes I’m chosen completely with no strings attached . I don’t want to live like a Sudden change of heart and mind will happen because one realizes I’m not it. I want to live fully and happily without extent.